don't kill your joy. don't. {thankful thursday}
my dearest handsomest better half has left me for 2 weeks to journey to Nepal. watching him walk through security and disappear from my view left me with an ache, but more, really, filled me with great joy. kevin will be joining a movement of believers in the rural lowlands of Nepal, where the gospel has spread like wildfire, hindu strongholds falling to the power of the holy spirit. amen and amen. he will be speaking at a pastors conference, encouraging the believers in their faith, as well as engaging with many local people with the truth of jesus. sweet sweet jesus who comes to bring freedom and set the captives free.
so if you think of it, pray for him.
gracias.
better yet,
dhanyabaad.
but of course he's not far from the reaches of my mind. actually he's quite on my mind almost every second.
tonight as I was reading "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp,
i was absolutely struck by the idea that
we can kill our own joy.
say whhaaatttt?
ya, you heard me,
we often have a hand in crushing the joy in our lives.
yikes! how?
remember when we were children? and the very simple evoked great delight?
playing house, swimming in the pool, eating a soft preztel?
{or maybe I got waaaayyyyy too excited about soft preztels?}
and then all of a sudden we began to forsake the small lovelies, and expect something greater?
I expect so and so to act this way around me and support me in this way.
I expect to be married by the time i'm this age.
I expect to be healthy and happy all the time.
we all do it. admit it.
ann says,
"expectations kill relationships"
with others and with Abba.
{PREACH IT ANN! }
and when those expectations unravel, and the opposite is true,
we are frustrated at best, hurt and resentful at worst.
unfortunately i've hurt many i've loved with this horrible-expectation-filled way of living.
i've held them to a standard unbeknownst to them, and when they don't live up to it,
i unravel.
{and I think they're crazy for not being able to read my mind! come on people!}
but i'm learning that the best way to live life is EMPTY.
empty of expectation.
because if we are not expecting it to be a certain way
then we'll be thrilled at the outcome.
i'm convinced it's the reason why kevin seems to love every meal i make
{cause i can guarantee you there's been some strange ones!}
CS Lewis said he was "surprised by joy".
Perhaps there is no way to discover joy but as a surprise?"
There is another name for those that live empty and joy-filled.
it's called humble.
"The humble live surprised. The humble live by joy"
JOY comes when thankfulness for the gift abounds.
and thankfulness lingers close when we aren't expecting the world to give us what we think we deserve.
because isn't that what expectations are?
our rightful allowance? what we DESERVE from others and from God?
ick.
pride is destructive, and will sap our joy faster than you can say "entitled".
speaking of entitlement,
that beast leaves no room for joy.
invite him over and he's the black plague that will continue to kill and fester forever,
and make you think you're the queen of sheba!
unless,
unless we take steps to EMPTY our expectations and entitlement,
and pray that Abba cleans house,
and begins to foster a heart that is humble.
if you're lacking a sense of JOY,
and need a miracle.
began to be thankful for the small lovelies around you,
and pray that God siphons off the blackened mess of expectations and entitlement.
it's a pain-filled process,
but in the end will reap a life that lives
FULL.
and JOY-FILLED.
and who wouldn't want that?
{and lastly, my own infomercial here....
truly this process has been critical in my own life for living JOY filled!}
much love,
